Alone: Overcoming Fears

After I finished a job contract in the Panama Canal, I decided to start a woodworking business together with my brother Javier. Then, we moved to El Valle de Antón: a beautiful town 2 hours from the city. As kids, we spent many summers riding our bikes, searching for waterfalls and hiking mountains in this town; its a second home for me.

Any given day after work, we would grab our backpacks and go sleep on a mountain. Between this and being hooked on the reality show Alone, from the History Channel, I thought it would be a great idea to venture out camping by myself.

One day I packed my things and left the house, decided to camp near the Cariguana’s summit. To make it more interesting, I decided to start hiking at the opposite side from where we normally do.

Thirty minutes into hiking up, I had made it to the ridge line; I started experiencing a rush that was new to me. I got 6 feet from the edge and couldn't take one more step, then thought: "If I fall, no one is gonna even know". This made me feel clumsy in my steps and jumpy towards everything. But I had to hike along the ridge to find a trail I could follow.

Found my trail and went into the woods where I was welcomed with the loud buzzing of a bee hive 24 inches from my face. Although I was not stung, the thought of being attacked by myself, scared me a lot too. At this point I told myself I had to pull it together and calm down; I took a deep breath, prayed and carried on.

I even got a bit lost, or at least disorientated along the way. As soon as I saw a clear way out of the forest, I climbed up towards the ridge to get a better view and then spotted my “go-to” route. I picked up the pace and set up camp; I still had at least an hour before sunset.

At this point I’m feeling more relaxed and accomplished. I was focused to setup my tarp, hammock and gather some wood for my fire. I found a nice rock to set my fire against to, then had some dinner and tea. I went into my hammock, wrote about the journey of the day and fell asleep. The night went smooth and quiet and I headed back home early with the sunrise.

If you haven't gotten it yet, this is not hiking lesson. I'm not trying to tell you whether you should go camping by yourself or with a group; what I'm trying to say is that by exposing yourself to be alone, you also get the opportunity to face and overcome your deepest fears.

Today more than ever, you are hardly alone. You might be surrounded by family, friends, music or social media. When was the last time you truly unplugged yourself?

My advise to you, my friendly reader, is to set aside some time when you can shut everything down and enjoy some quality quiet time. My personal preferences are hitting a hiking trail, paddling out in the ocean or prayer time.

What moment in your life has made you feel like this? What big journeys have made you scared and vulnerable and how do you deal with this feelings?

José Feliú